Wonders and Ponders

Somethings have happened over the weekend that no doubt have divine traces in them. The first, for all my interest, is that after praying one day about school, the desire to study forensics and become and field and lab tech and CSI were gone. My interest was there, but try as I could, the drive for that wasn’t there. I prayed about it some more, explaining I wanted that drive back…all I got was it just isn’t my time for it. The second involved church. I thought I had found one, in my old church, but after some heart breaking events today during the service, I guess God wants me to reconsider, so we’ll see.

Won’t go into details, but the short and long of it is included me not being able to partake in Communion because I wasn’t allowed yet. I realized a lot today. Friends and family leaving in the military, family and friends you’ve known forever doing 180s on you, the stress of school/work, people leaving, physical pain…I can handle all that, because I have God. But what I cannot, and refuse to, handle is someone telling me I cannot be with my Savior through Holy Communion because they aren’t ’sure’ I am a true believer. It broke my heart and dwarfed all other pains I thought I was feeling.

I’m praying on this, and I have one or two places I might check out if my old church is also another “not your time”. Sigh…back to homework…again…yay administration of justice.

Antonio also went hunting Friday morning and brought me back a live roach this time. Thanks to my wicked mad shooting skills now (not) I sprayed it with some Bug Be Gone ten times and took care of it.

I wonder if this is how a falling star feels. Having everything stripped away from your world so fast and knowing that it has to end at some point but you don’t know when, and you don’t know if you will still have the most important thing to you when it ends or if all that will remain are little pieces of the star you used to be ready and waiting to be analyzed and sorted by scientists, all they while saying as they look through their microscopes, “Pity this didn’t survive…what a brilliant thing this could’ve been. I’m sorry it couldn’t last.”

God I hope not.

So I’ve found there are certain things one should not listen to or watch if one is already in a crap mood…’specially if that ‘one’ is me. Rest assured I’ll be in a much better mood when I write again, it’s just that now most of my posse is scattered across the globe. So in no particular order…

MOVIES

1. Romeo and Juliet
2. The Notebook
3. Moulin Rouge
4. Black Hawk Down
5. Big Fish
6. The Princess Bride
7. Last of the Mohicans
8. Cold Mountain
9. Life is Beautiful
10. Gladiator

SONGS

1. My Immortal ~ Evanesence
2. Breath (2 am) ~ Anna Nalick
3. Here Without You ~ 3 Doors Down
4. I Need Some Sleep ~ Eels
5. Save Tonight ~ Eagle Eye Cherry
6. Here With Me ~ Dido
7. You Belong to Me ~ Jason Wade
8. Travelin’ Soldier ~ Dixie Chicks
9. You ~ Switchfoot
10. Where’d You Go ~ Fort Minor

Right, so I thought to post an update since I haven’t written in a while, and what better time than procrastinating typing a paper?

Work~

It’s fine. I am totally loving my job and am learning so much so fast! I still have a long way to go until I’m uber-good but everyone seems really happy with my work so far, so that’s cool. I need to ask for more hours though, b/c gas is redonk and I will be driving from El Cajon to La Jolla everyday in summer, bugger it. Aside from that, I really do love my work.

School~

I hate it . I love my classes, my professors are all pretty cool this quarter, but I’m just so tired of being in school, the commute, the insane workload, the fees, the paperwork, etc. I’m told that some day I’ll look back on these years fondly and wish I could go back, but I foresee this ambiguous ’someday’ as being far, far, far, oh-so-far, in the future. Right now I want to get out and start paying these off. To those of you who have listened to my whining about this before, thank you! Your patience is amazing, and I am trying to look on the bright side even when it sucks, so you hopefully won’t hear my gripe as much…right after I say that thanks to stinkin’ gas prices, I will have to either find places to sleep in the La Jolla vicinity or ‘ration’ my school days…or take out a loan for $30 grand and get an uber-awesome hybrid.

Fencing~

On hold until I have more time and money . Have since begun working out in the mornings before work/school, including running a ton with my roomies, which surprisingly enjoyable .

Family~

They are good. My sis is actually one of my roomies, my cousin’s birthday sushi party is tonight, one is getting married in a few weeks (his fiancee’s bridal shower is Saturday), and one is expecting his second kid Thanks to the one getting married, everyone else is coming out soon, which means a mini-reunion as sorts. Should be fun.

Friends~

My best friend ever is getting married next month as well, and I am a bridesmaid!!! I have a fitting Saturday to see if my dress is good to go. Everything seems like it’s happening on Saturday Anyway, I am uber-excited for this…’specially since I get to take a special someone In other news, my other roomie and I have also decided that this summer will be a time when we a) redo the backyard as a beach (sis’s idea actualy), b) get really good at cooking and have “Asian Invasion Week” where we will attempt to cook Thai, Chinese, etc the whole week.

Summer Plans~

School, work, converting the backyard, practicing cooking…keeping busy until the end of August…

Bon soir mes amis! So, after tinkering around for a bit, I think I have this page figured out…mostly. We’ll see. Anyway, today started off “ehn.” They had another event at the Gate of Hell (UCSD) and used some student parking, making the race for parking spaces more cutthroat than normal. So, after about 20 min of driving around without any opportunity presenting itself, I made a command decision and skipped class and ran some errands before work. Never mind that finals are next week; they don’t scare me anymore, and I haven’t determined if this is a good or bad thing. Work today was amazing. I got hired two days ago but the job is related to forensics in a few ways, so I am loving it. So, here I sit, after work, chillaxin’ on the couch. I thought I was going to do some Kempo tonight or maybe fence, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. I’ll most likely do it tomorrow, and do something a thousand times more exciting tonight: cleaning .